Let Junk be a Junk

My day in office is the same usual routine, no one notice me except charles, he's been good. I know it was just a plain friend concern. Im tired of being nobody i mean no importance at all, they see me as nothing, if i ask then will reply and i ask then again i knew they slightly treat me as a bothersome..

Hurt me most when our supervisor care more to chat with charles hows the status of his courtship to our officemate while im being pending for her reply 'saying wait lang ha!'. She's more eager to talk non work stuff and make chikka. I cant blame it, she's adore more charles more than i, whose adore me anyaway.

I feeling more more ugly everytime im on the office, being the invisible to others, maybe if im cute or something pleasant they will be more willing to help me, all this time, i can see myself alone, doing things alone, yes they answer if i ask, but it really different if ann ask them they are more welcome..

I dont grudge ann, all this time with ian, they are the one who really been helpful to me. But i cant help it, to feel the pain, why there not appreciating me.

I didnt do harm to them, if there's anything i can do for them i will surely will.

But for God sake, i feel alone..

I hate this feeling of less importance..

Oh God help me..

Worst of all! im not a tomboy im really not! NOT NOT!! dont judge me please i'm a girl. If you see me that i can do nothing, i will not take time to explain myself to them, and i will not afraid of what they think of me, this is me, if they dont like me. Its theres choice and i will respect them.


What im really after now, this day, is not to please them... they are junk.. JUNK.. i will go to please my God nothing more else..

My God if no ones appreciate my atleast i will have you.. that's what importance to be with you, i cant find happiness in the people surely on You i will. Heal me father heal my wounds. I need you so much you are the only one I needed. You are the only One my God, help me My God help me God.. I need you...

Time management urgently needed to master!

I set the things i want to do..
but in the end i didnt done it..
darn..
Im always into afraid of starting the task, when i know i should act now, i give myself always a break until i got no time left anymore..

I want to change it, im not a younger anymore, it this thing gone far, i know i gonna be left behind..

I should start to act now, be fearless, yeah its been so disturbing to start a task that you know your not good, but who cares if i got mistake, eventually im going to master it anyway..

That's it theres nothing to afraid of.. everyone sucks when it their first time..